Do you hate when the peace and quiet of your house is suddenly interrupted by the sound of children fighting? Or maybe your only child has gotten in trouble at school for fighting. Not all kids fight and not all of them have the same reason for doing so, but one of the biggest reasons for fighting is for attention. Sometimes kids fight because they want attention from friends or family members. Fighting is a way of acting out that makes someone pay attention - even if it's not positive attention.
Sometimes kids fight because they feel like they don't have any control over their life. If a child is coddled and is unable to do anything for himself or herself, they might feel as if they don't have any significance. A lot of parents have heard their children say some variation of "you aren't the boss of me!" at some point in their lives. If a child is acting out, it might be because they're tired of being smothered and want some responsibility or freedom.
Some kids just have naturally aggressive personalities and tend to fight more often than children with more passive or amiable personalities. Fights could happen because one child is easily angered or because two children have personalities that do not get along. Most adults know people they do not get along with because their personalities clash, and children are no different in this respect. Sometimes fight spring up because of a small or large personality clash.
Unfortunately, jealousy is another reason why children sometimes fight. One child might be jealous of another's talent, for instance. Or they might be jealous that another child is more popular than they are. Within a family, one child might be jealous of the attention their sibling receives from other family members. Jealousy comes in all sorts of guises and it's difficult to pinpoint exactly what might make on child jealous. But jealousy is one of the biggest causes for a child fighting with another child.
Lack of Self-Confidence
Some children who lack self-confidence might display their insecurity by acting out. As stated, fighting can be caused by many different reasons, but some researchers or child psychologists believe that sometimes feelings of inadequacy lead to fighting. If a child feels like they aren't as smart or well-liked, or that one of their siblings might receive more attention or praise than they do, they might pick fights to make themselves feel better. Many children and adults become aggressive when they are faced with negative feelings or when they compare themselves with people they perceive to be better.
Parents often remark that one of the first signs of aggression in children is when they're fighting over shared toys. One child might become physically or verbally aggressive when another child wants to play with the toy they're currently using. Sometimes the child who is physically or verbally aggressive is trying to assert dominance over the other child. It might be because they're just overly protective of their belongings. When they're older, sometimes children fight to assure themselves that they're tougher than the child they're fighting. Whether they realize what they're doing or not, creating a sense of power is one of the reasons why some children become aggressive.
Children are scarily perceptive of the people and places around them and sometimes copy behaviors they have seen in other people. While this is not always the case, sometimes children who see family members, television shows or movies, or other children fighting will copy that behavior. They might fight because no one has tried to dissuade them from it or because they feel like they need to copy others they admire.
Sibling rivalry is one of the oldest reasons for fighting between siblings. Sometimes it's because siblings genuinely don't like each other. Sometimes they're happy one minute, but at each other's throats the next. During childhood and adolescence, the smallest thing could set them off and turn them to fighting. Often, siblings fight in order to get more attention from a parent or guardian or to establish a sibling hierarchy. And sometimes, as anyone who has siblings knows, children just fight for almost no reason at all.
Because They're Different
Unfortunately, bullying is one of the biggest problems with children. More often than not, one child will pick a fight with another child because they think they're different. This might be because of the child's appearance, sexuality, gender, race, religion, or a host of other different aspects.
Sometimes children fight because they don't know how to adequately talk about their issues. Or sometimes their attempts at communication get misinterpreted. Fighting occurs for various reasons but many people will admit that sometimes kids think it's easier to make an issue with physical actions than with verbal actions.